Do you have times during the year when you feel “different”… almost melancholy? Actually, I’m not sure what word best describes my mood right now.
I looked up three words on dictionary.com >>> melancholy, bittersweet, and nostalgia. Hmmmm…. It turns out that I have bits and pieces of each of these words.
I have parts of “melancholy,” although I certainly don’t have black bile or depression. (Who would have guessed about the previous?!?) But, I do have a feeling of “sober thoughtfulness” right now.
How about nostalgia? Yep! I definitely have a “bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past.”
Bittersweet? Yes, some of that! I definitely have a “pleasure mingled with pain or regret” every year when spring arrives. However, I do not feel like a “climbing or trailing plant.” (Another “Who would have guessed?” moment.)
So what is it that elicits these feelings in me?
In this case, I think it’s a longing for a time years ago when we first moved to San Antonio. My children were both in elementary school, and their lives were uncomplicated and carefree.
My father, mother, and my father’s Cocker Spaniel would visit us each spring during the Texas Blue Bonnet seasons. Our children and I looked forward to these early springtime visits. These visits were a real treat >>> two weeks of extended family time, in which we would be able to enjoy not only Gramps, Maija, and Aspen, but San Antonio, as well.
Time marches on… My father is no longer with us, nor is his dog. I miss those days of Blue Bonnets and our family visits. But, I am pretty sure that fifteen years from now I will look back at today with the same nostalgic, bittersweet melancholia… to a time long ago when our children lived near us. And, even though their lives have gotten a lot more complicated than they were fifteen years ago, I’ll probably look back at them and think about how carefree their lives were way back in 2009.